They say grief comes in waves— yesterday my grief hit me like a tidal wave, out of the blue. It started when I woke up. I felt sick to my stomach and could not eat breakfast or even finish my morning coffee. That sick feeling is the anxiety of grief showing its ugly face.
Looking out the kitchen window fall leaves caught my eye and I started crying. I miss Caleb. The changing seasons, holidays and passing of time make me miss him more. Of course, the anger of grief showed up. He chose to leave and I still struggle with being angry about that, even knowing he was not in his right mind does not help subside my anger. Grief is sometimes full of anger, at everyone, and everything.
The mask of grief showed up when I dried my tears and plastered a smile on my face and joined Madilyn in the living room for a morning movie. more »