computer science (1237) joe (396) malinowski (6) joe malinowski joseph malinowski degoat11 northern illiois student
Waking Up Is Hard to Do Did you ever feel like it is hard to get out of bed in the morning? Is your only motivation that you don't want to get fired from work or spend the rest of the day catching up? Well, I have. I find myself struggling with anxiety/depression over the past few years. I have been taking medication. It helps.... sometimes. Sometimes, it does not.
I am not saying that I am having negative thoughts or that I feel like I am a danger to anyone or myself. It's not like that at all. It just feels like its mentally hard to tell myself to GO. And when someone else pulls me into another direction, my immediate reaction is to tell them to go f*ck off. Maybe not exactly in those words, but you get the point. So I continue another day. I'm pulled in 100 directions, but I just don't want to move. Tomorrow will be better. Or maybe not. I won't know until then.
The bright at the end of my tunnel is not a train. It's my children. They keep me going forward. They'll read this one day and maybe understand me a little more. I hope they know that I love them and I would do anything for them. They are meant for great things and I can't watch them do it.