thinkinganddreaming.ca - Thinking and Dreaming | Leave the world a better place….

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Chatting in a café with friends, we traded comments on the predictable verdict in the Jian Gomeshi trial* – along with the eye-rolling you do when you know there’s nothing new to say. How sad is that?

There was an unspoken assumption there: we all tended to believe the ‘complainants’ — that they were in various ways probably sexually abused by him. Is that not presumptuous? Possibly. Maybe even dangerous for the justice system. But — just about all women we’ve known (that’s a lot of women, after many decades of urban living) have experienced some variation of male sexual abuse, and most wouldn’t have even thought of a formal complaint. What’s the point?

That reality hovers around beneath many social relationships, only surfacing on occasion, like a quiet, fluttering sense of unease, under certain circumstances. Like a change in group composition as innocent as a person leaving or entering a room, for example. It has something to do with unpredictability.

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